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Buying in bulk

August 8, 2012 Becky Andrews 0

Somewhere in history, who knows when, it became clear that ‘Enough-would NEVER be- Enough.’ It probably started between Cleopatra and Marc Antony’s demise at the Battle of Actium and they knew death was not far off that Cleo turned to Mark and said, 

“Why didn’t you bring more than two spears? Now we are staring death in the face”

“Maybe if you would have packed more”

‘Maybe if you would have bought more”

“If you can tell me where I can buy more than two at a time, I’ll do it. Until then, shut up and fight!”

And so the Big,Bulk,Budget Club was born. Where the diapers come in packs of 800, canned corn is purchased by the gross, and you can get your tires rotated while picking out an engagement ring.

It’s ironic how I will fight to avoid the grocery but instead opt to go to budget clubs just to take advantage of deep discounts and savings yet leave with a palate of non-perishables and a receipt for $600.00! 

As much as I hate to spend a Saturday afternoon wandering the isles of these stores, once I’m there, it’s heavenly. Where else can you find the latest New York Times bestseller (at a 30% discount), sample chocolate covered puff pastry and buy new living room furniture under the same roof? 

My children love it too. Especially my oldest who insists we wait until lunchtime to go. “Because that’s when all the food samples are out. It’s a free lunch, Mom!” 

He’s starting to act more and more like his father. 

My husband likes to brag about how long our essentials last…to anyone that will listen. Last weekend we were grilling out. Jay walked inside followed by his shadow; our youngest. He pulled out the aluminum foil and very proudly said, 

“You were still in kindergarten when we bought this. Isn’t that cool?” 

For the first time I saw our baby look at his father like he normally looks at me when I’m helping him finish his homework. It’s the disappointed look that says, 

“There had to be a mix-up at the hospital. There’s no way I’m biologically part of this family.”

I like a good deal as much as anyone. In fact, it’s liberating to only buy dryer sheets once a year. I just don’t feel the need to tell everyone. I even thought about letting our membership expire and start buying my hot dogs in 8 packs again instead of 32. 

One afternoon, my oldest and a friend were playing. They stopped long enough to get a snack. They grabbed something out of the pantry and headed back upstairs. As they tore the wrapper from a fruit roll-up (and left that wrapper on the steps), his friend shouted, 

“DUDE! That is a HUGE box of Fruit Roll-ups!”

“I know! We bought that before Christmas and still have a ton left. You should see our closet full of toilet paper.”

I guess I can keep the membership going for now. 

Comments? Email Becky.


Telling Tales: Advice to my 20-year old self

July 26, 2012 Becky Andrews 0

I read a blog recently and the 22 year old blogger requested readers write a letter offering advice to the younger you, a 20 year old you. I tried to think of how many times I’ve heard people, my dad in particular, say, “If only I could go back and do this (or that or the other thing) differently my life would be better.” We’ve all said it. But most of us, if given the chance wouldn’t take it. Because we know that cutting out some of the poor choices, embarrassing moments or just plain awful experiences of life would most likely mean cutting out the breathtaking, lesson learning and indescribable moments as well. 

The reason the blogger made this request of readers was so that she and other 20 something’s might learn more about the bumpy road us older folk had already traveled. 

So just for the heck of it, here’s a letter to my 20 year old self. 

Dearest Becky,

Start wearing sunscreen. You’ll be glad you did. When you hit 30, those cute little freckles are referred to as ‘age spots.’ 

If the opportunity comes along to travel cross country and live on the west coast for a few months, take it. Don’t think about it so much before you finally say yes. You might be a little lonely at first since you’ve never lived alone but trust me; you dodged a bullet by not moving in with that girl from Nevada! On your way back to Tennessee with your little sister, make a stop in the Grand Canyon and take a lot of pictures.

Stop obsessing about your weight for crying out loud! And stop buying fat free cookies. They’re disgusting and you just let them go bad! You’ll learn one day that the female body is capable of doing some amazing things that have absolutely nothing to do with weight or cup size.

Don’t be afraid of embracing your uniqueness. Being different is one of the things that make you so uniquely you. Finding humor under the most unusual circumstances is a good quality that will serve you well. 

Don’t agree with someone just because you’re afraid they won’t like you. The right people respect you more when you give your concerns a voice.    


Volunteer as much as possible. Not enough people your age do this.

Don’t let the false teachings of a certain religion keep you from getting to know God. He’s pretty cool and loves everyone no matter what they look like, how much money they have or what person they fall in love with.  

Believe it or not, you’re going to get married. I’m not even going to spoil the surprise. Let me just tell you this, he’s closer than you think and yes, you’ve met him. He’s a keeper. He knows you better than anyone and your abnormally large big toe doesn’t bother him at all. He loves you because of- not in spite- of all your little idiosyncrasies.

Visit your mother more and don’t ignore her phone calls. You may think she doesn’t really have anything important to say but trust me one day you’ll look back and wish you could hear her talk about how she didn’t ever think you would stop sucking your thumb. You’ll be glad she taught you the importance of washing down a doughnut, brownie or piece of cake with a Diet Dr. Pepper. You’re more like her than you think. Where do you think you got that wicked sense of humor? Ask her more questions. She has a lot of stories to tell.  Your children will want to know all about their Nanny. 

I probably shocked you with the “C” word. I know you think you don’t want children. I know you think after being raised in houseful of kids in a mildly dysfunctional home, you just want your adulthood to be quiet and clean and all about you and your job. You’ll enjoy that… for a while. But then one day, dear one, if you do find yourself wiping snotty noses, potty training, helping your son with his homework or listening to that son say his prayers at night, on that day you’ll know that just because you might not be where you thought you’d be at 35 years old, you are exactly where you were meant to be.

To reach the 35 year old Becky Andrews email her,